Xavier- Hope

Dear Experiment 327,

Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed that. And I'm really glad I brought you a short moment of happiness. I really wish you could feel that all the time. Who knows? Someday you will.

I never thought of it that way. That is a very interesting concept. Maybe giving up was an advantage for me. It's definitely something to think about, and I will. Thank you for giving me something to occupy my mind with, something else to think about other than where my next meal's coming from.

The facility created a huge gap in my life that I've been trying to fill ever since. Who I was as a child and who I am now are two completely different people (naturally, of course). As a kid, I was fearless. I thought I knew it all, and I had amazing street smarts. That, of course, is what got me caught. Today, I would describe myself as fearful of everything. I'm scared, worried, sick, and fragile. But that's what keeps me living. That's what the facility taught me. It broke down my selfish pride and it gave me real street smarts. I fully believe that the mutants who were in a facility and managed to break out have a great advantage over the others. I hope that some day you will have that advantage as well.

I wonder how people do it- lock the memories away. Though that's so bad for their mental stability... When I broke out I promised myself I'd keep the memories fresh and alive. If I locked them up, I'd go insane. I wouldn't live another day. I remember watching people die and I remember their screams. Maybe you remember mine? You and everyone else in that facility would have been the last people to hear my voice. I can't exactly describe it, because I don't remember what it sounds like. Even then, I had no idea. Like you said, we weren't allowed to talk. All I knew was the sound of my screaming, and that's very different from the sound of a voice.

The thought of possibly meeting you one day gives me a renewed hope. It gives me something to look forward to. I would love to make that happen. I would love to show you the outside world, the sun and the air. It's a dismal world, but compared to being in the facility it.. It almost gives you hope.

I think there are some with hope left over. Those who have been shown the darkest corners of the dead Earth and still live to tell the tale. I think I have hope too, somewhere deep inside of me. Hope for humanity, hope for the world. But every waking hour I live challenges that. I know nothing will change in my life time. I'll have to survive in this world until I die. But I live thinking that maybe if I can make even one person smile in their darkest hours, then my life was worth it. So thank you for sharing with me that you laughed. I could die right here, right now and be perfectly happy. It was all worth it. For a split second, I considered it. Dying happy. But I couldn't leave my companion behind, not now.

I want to give you hope, too. I want you to know that you are not forgotten. That even in that cell prison where not even the sun light reaches, time still flows. Air still moves. You still breathe. Even in your darkest hours you smiled and laughed. That's proof enough that there's still a tiny flame inside you. If you want out, you gotta let it burn. Like I said before, become obsessed. Sometimes, in that facility, what stops us aren't the walls made of cement that contain us. What stops us are the walls we build over our hearts. So break 'em down.

...Oh God, it happened again. I got really off track and all sappy and stuff. I'm sorry. I must sound absolutely ridiculous. I wouldn't even talk (well, it's not really talking..) that way around my companion, who I've known for years now. I use sign to communicate, and I don't ever say much. I guess I just took the opportunity to ramble. If you ever wanna tell me to shut up... Don't hesitate. Please. I'm an expert at shutting up.

As for how I remembered my name... I had a way. I'm very sorry to hear that you gave up. Have you considered re-naming yourself?

I gotta admit, your days probably aren't too thrilling. Mine weren't. But tell me about them anyway. Every detail. I'm starving for conversation, and I'm sure you are too.

More scientist? That's, ah.. Since when did they need more scientists? They always had more than enough. This project of theirs must be something huge. New machinery to Harvest.... That worries me. Thank you for the information. You could very well have saved our lives. I wish I had news for you. I will keep on the look out for anything that may prove useful to you.

I'm also very sorry to hear that you'll be showcased. ...Where will they be showcasing you? If it is not too much to ask.

How we met? That's a long story. A really freaking long story. It's complicated, too. I'm sorry. I hope you understand.

I hope to hear from you soon.

-Xavier